Hoodtown Page 16

  It was Jaguar de Juarez, sharp as a tack in an immaculate black suit and gold silk tie. It took only a second for me to register the deep wrinkles around the eyes and wattles of flesh beneath the hem of the hood, the shorter, thicker body and the arthritic gait, but that second felt like a century as painful emotion crushed my heart in a brutal hammerlock, forcing me to close my eyes and choke back a wave of dizzy sorrow.

  The old man came to my bedside and took both my hands in his. His hands were large and swollen, nearly swallowing mine.

  “Thank you for what you have done,” he said in soft, strongly accented Spanish. “For my son. For our mask. For Hoodtown.”

  I could see in his dark eyes that he knew the story I fed the Skin cops was bullshit but I had no idea how much he really knew. As for the cops, Pinkwater was happy to bury the Davis Trent angle, the fact that Black Eagle had been able to pass as a Skin, along with his own involvement, for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which that he really believed Black Eagle had been the killer. The victim’s hoods and the knife that killed them were all found at the scene. I knew there would be no real investigation because the fairy tale ending I’d written for the case of the Hoodtown Ripper was too perfect to ever be questioned. In reality, no one wanted the ugly, messy truth. They wanted good and evil, right and wrong, face and heel. Clean, simple angles and black and white storylines that made the gray chaos of their every day lives seem worth living.

  When Jaguar Senior asked me what he could do for me, I knew there was only one thing left in life that I really wanted. It still took me several long, shellshocked days to build up the nerve to ask.

  It wasn’t until a cool, hazy dawn found me crouching over a rickety wooden cross, one of hundreds on this scrappy, cheerless hill between a junkyard and a gravel quarry, that I was finally able let it all go. To see the possibility of something like a future. My hands shook as I took the green charm from around my neck and hung it on the grave marker. With a pilfered pen, I scratched out the number 32330 and over it wrote DULCE.

  I put my palm on the earth below.

  “It’s over, Dulce.” I said and I knew it was true. It really was over.

  I went straight from there to Jaguar Senior’s office in the A.C.L.L. building. I knew he would want me out of town for the funeral and the media frenzy surrounding it, but he promised if I signed onto this tour, he would build me up like never before. Rather than burying the Blue Velvet thing, he wanted to work it, to have me finish every match with the martinete, to build an angle where I take down every técnica in the league, working my way back to the Telco Arena, where they would have no choice but to bring Rosa de Oro out of retirement to stop me.

  Medics came hustling through the curtain, with the first match’s técnico on a stretcher. As soon as the curtain dropped, he hopped up, pressing a rag to the wide exposed triangle of gigged forehead beneath his torn mask.

  “Break a leg, X.” he said, slapping my shoulder with a bloody hand.

  Then a soft, rustling hush and suddenly, my old theme music, thundering from the ancient speakers. I had to force myself to breathe, my heart ready to burst in my chest. I waited ten endless seconds and then pushed the curtain open and stepped out into the blinding light.

  A tidalwave of boos and whistles and passionate heat engulfed me like a thunderstorm and I felt everything that had happened slip away. I shook out my arms and cracked my knuckles, cocking my neck from side to side. Giving the audience my stoniest ruda stare, I strolled down the ramp and into the ring, where I belonged.

  FIN

  A GLOSSARY of HOODTOWN SLANG

  alma: (al’-ma) soul, often used as an endearment

  angle: storyline, often generated by promoters, pitting wrestlers against each other to sell tickets

  aruchu: (a-roo’-choo) a drunk

  asesino/a: (a-se-see’-no) killer, assasin

  baita: (by-ee’-ta) bitch

  barrio: (ba’-rri-o) neighborhood

  Barrio de las Estrellas: (ba’-rri-o de las es-tre’-yas) literally “neighborhood of the stars” — the Beverly Hills of Hoodtown

  bonkura: (bong-ku’-ra) stupid

  bozu: (bo’-zu) kid

  bump: wrestling trade vernacular for a fall or crash, or the act of taking or being on the receiving end of a severe impact or elaborate stunt

  cabrón/a: (ka-brone’, ka-brone’-a) a classic Mexicanism — technically an insult but most often used affectionally, it means literally “like a goat” and the feminine “cabróna” is similar to bitch, but has more positive connotations of admirable toughness

  cementerio: (se-men-te’-ree-o) cemetery

  callejera: (kai-ey-he’-ra) prostitute, literally “streetwalker”

  compadre: (kom-pa’-dre) term of affection (male) like “brother” or “buddy”

  carnicería: (kar-ne-ser-ee’-ya) butcher shop

  carnitas: (kar-nee’-tas) braised pork

  caída: (kai-ee’-da) literally meaning a fall, but specific to lucha libre, a round, or the period of fighting which ends in a pin-fall

  chica: (chee’-ka) see machi no chica

  chichis: (chee’-chees) breasts

  chikubis: (chee-koo’-beez) nipples

  chinga tu máscara: (ching’-ga too mas’-ka-ra) the phrase that will get your ass kicked in Hoodtown — the very worst possible insult, never said in jest, literally “fuck your mask”.

  chingón: (ching-gon’) a stud or tough guy, literally “fucker”

  chorizo: (chor-ee’-zo) Mexican sausage

  churro: (choor’-ro) long sticks of fried sweet dough covered in cinnamon and sugar, even filled with cream and jelly

  clothesline: (aka the Lariat) a takedown in which the wrestler’s arm is stuck straight out to the side and used to knock a rushing opponent feet-over-head in a whirlwind — an effect similar to running into a chest-high clothesline in a dark backyard, coined partly by former football terror and Blacksploitation film legend Fred ‘The Hammer’ Williamson

  cojones: (ko-ho’-nes) testicles

  columpio: (ko-loom’-pee-o) swing — a swinging submission hold wherein the standing aggressor lifts the victim by his or her legs and arms and swings them until they submit

  conchudita: (kon-choo-di’-ta) the diminutive, feminine version of “conchudo” meaning a tough guy, a hardcase — someone with a hard shell

  chupada: (choo-pa’-da) a blow job

  dinero: (dee-ne’-ro) money

  drop toehold: tripping an opponent by scissoring one’s feet around one of their ankles

  empeño: (em-pen’-yo) pawn (as in Pawn Shop)

  en serio: (en se’-dee-o) seriously

  ese yaro: (es’-e yah’-ro)a complex insult with both Japanese and Mexican elements, its literal translation is misleadingly benign; “that guy” but it comes from the old fashion “kono yaro” – fighting words in Japan – combined here with the bordertown slang standard “ese” (also used to refer to people and also meaning “that”). Other words can be inserted into the middle of this to make it worse - example “ese impo yaro”

  face: short for “babyface,” a good guy/gal, a hero, see técnico/a

  finish: a move or sequence of quick events that climaxes a wrestling match

  fireman’s takedown: a wrestling throw similar to the method firemen use to carry victims over their shoulders

  Full Nelson: a near-inescapable Greco-Roman wrestling hold in which a wrestler puts their arms under the arms of the opponent and up around the shoulders, locking their hands behind the opponent’s neck

  gig: to cut the forehead (usually one’s own) with a hidden razor during a wrestling match, often for extra pay

  gimmick: from somewhat negative 1950’s wrestling vernacular for promoter-created characters, storylines or feuds generated to sell tickets, rather than reliance on the athleticism of the competitors, gimmick can refer to just the mask alone but also means the whole identity, the name, persona and mask design chosen upon reaching sexual maturity


  gracias: (gra’-cee-as) thank you

  gringo/a: (gring’-go, gring’-ga) an American

  Go: a Japanese strategy game played with black and white stones on a wooden board

  güero: (weh-do) whitey, a person with pale skin

  hammerlock: a wrestling hold that involves twisting an opponent’s arm behind their back

  headscisors: a move in which a wrestler traps the opponent’s head between their thighs, to choke them out, or if done from a standing or flying position, sends a person end over end like a judo throw done with the legs

  heat: the amount of “heat” generated by a wrestler in the ring is how much interest they receive from the audience, most often used to describe negative attention such as boos, whistles and insults, which for ring villains is a barometer of their success

  heel: bad guy/gal or villian, see rudo/a

  hidoi: (hee-doy) a very feminine exclamation indicating disgust

  highspot: an acrobatic, crowd-pleasing move that involves jumping off a high object, most often the ring-posts or ropes

  hijo de la chingada: (ee’-ho de la chin-ga’-da) can be used either as an exclamation or a strong insult, similar in usage to “son of a bitch”, but nastier

  hijo de puta: (ee’-ho de poo’-ta) another very strong insult, literally “son of a whore”

  hola: (o-la) hello

  horchata: (or-cha-ta) rice milk with cinnamon

  Hood: when capitalized it refers to a person who wears a mask or “hood”

  huevos: (weh-vos) literally “eggs” but often used to refer to testicles

  Idolo de los Ninos: (ee-dohl’ o de los nee’-nyohs) Idol of the Children

  impo: (eem’-po) impotent

  irasshai-mase: (ee-ras’-shai ma-say) welcome, a greeting for customers entering a restaurant

  jobber: a loser, a lesser known wrestler who’s only reason to be in the ring is to lose to a more popular wrestler and make the other guy look good

  kip up: a move used by both martial artists and wrestlers in which they go from lying flat on their backs to standing by rocking the legs and hips back and then using the momentum to spring to their feet

  kuso: (koo’-so) shit

  llave: (yah-ve’) a wrestling hold or lock

  luchador/a: (loo-cha-dor’, loo-cha-dor’-a) a pro wrestler

  lucha libre: (loo-cha lee-bre) Mexican professional wrestling

  limpia: (lim-pee’-a) a spiritual cleansing (not to be confused with golden age lucha vernacular ‘limpio’ – referring to a clean wrestler who fights within the rules – a term later replaced by the more popular téchnico)

  loco: (lo’-ko) crazy

  machi no chica: (ma’-chee no chee’-ka) From the Japanese “machi no onna” meaning prostitute, in Hoodtown the word “chica” alone, which in Mexico is quite common and benign and means simply “girl,” is never used to describe any other female and is always short for machi no chica

  maestro/a: (ma-es’-tro, ma-es’-tra) in lucha terms, a veteran ring performer who trains younger workers

  Madre de Dios: (ma’-dre de dee’-os) exclamation “Mother of God”

  madrino: (ma-dree’-no) a thug or bouncer, hired muscle

  maniaco: (ma-nya’-ko) maniac

  martinete: (mar-ti-net’-ey) any lucha move designed to bring an opponent’s body weight directly down on the top of their head, aka the Pile Driver, a move that compresses the neck vertebrae and can easily cause paralysis or death — illegal in lucha libre

  mark: originally a carny sideshow term for a gullible customer or sucker, in wrestling terms a credulous wrestling enthusiast or zealot, also used to describe someone who believes a prearranged or scripted event is ‘real’

  máscara: (ma’-ska-ra) mask

  matemático: (ma-te-ma’-tee-ko) mathematician, a person with a number-based gimmick

  matwork: ground-based grappling, as opposed to running or flying moves, in a wrestling match, or in this case the grappling equivalent of sparring

  midcard: during a wrestling event, the matches after the preliminaries but before the main event, the middle level of success for a wrestler

  mini: a midget or “little person,” originally used to describe midget wrestlers (often “mini” version of larger wrestlers) but used in Hoodtown to describe any little person

  mira: (mee’-ra) look

  moreno/a: (mo-re’-no, mo-re’-na) a person with dark skin

  mordelónes: (mor-de-lo’-nes) corrupt cops who take bribes, literally “biters”

  muñeca: (moo-nyeh’-ka) a feminine term of endearment mostly used by women, literally “doll”

  nada: (na’-da) nothing

  nalgona: (nal-go’-na) a woman with a big ass

  omé: (o-may’) vagina - from the Japanese “omeko”

  over: in pro wrestling terms, acceptance or appreciation of by fans. Being ‘over’ with fans means being cheered and idolized (face) or booed and despised (heel.) A wrestler can also put another wrestler ‘over’ by dramatizing and intensifying the perceived severity of offensive moves or by losing a match.

  panocha: (pa-no’-cha) also vagina, literally “brown sugar”

  panzón: (pan-son’) a man with a pot belly

  pendejo: (pen-de’-ho) an insult, literally “pubic hair”

  pesadilla: (pe-sa-dee’-ya) nightmare

  piledriver: see martinete

  pinché: (peen’-che) a hard to define Mexican adjective that is used as an intensifier to make things worse, used where an American would say “fucking” example: pinché puta meaning something similar to “fucking whore”

  pistola: (pee-sto’-la) handgun

  plancha: (plahn’-cha) in lucha terms, a dive onto an opponent, can be from the top rope onto a prone victim, or a flying cross-tackle onto a standing foe

  poquito: (po-kee’-to) a little

  powder out: to leave the ring during a match

  puta: (poo’-ta) whore

  puta madre: (poo’-ta ma’-dre) a violent oath, used like “Motherfucker!”

  quesadilla: (keh-sa-dee’-ya) a cheese filled tortilla

  que lástima: (keh las’-tee-ma) an expression like “what a shame” or “too bad”

  que pasó: (keh pah-so’) what happened?

  que tal: (keh tahl) a greeting like “what’s up”

  ratta: (rrah’-tah) from “ring rat” meaning a wrestling groupie or any female that hangs around the arenas looking for sex with pro wrestlers

  rudo/a: (rroo’-do, rroo’-da) a bad guy/girl, a villain, a wrestler who does not play by the rules, the opposite of técnico/a

  Santo, El: the most famous luchador in history, who as ring champion for four decades, star of over 40 action moves and a million-selling weekly comic book, defined the Mexican masked wrestling genre; now revered in Hoodtown as a true saint, his name is used as an oath, where a Skin might say “Jesus”

  sell: a wrestler reacting to a blow or hold to convince the audience of its severity, the opposite being to ‘no-sell’

  shoot: to use full strength in a wrestling move with genuine intent to injure the opponent, rather than the usual dramatic pulling of punches

  shooter: a person who wrestles with this style, akin to a no-holds-barred “shootfighter”

  Skin: a person without a mask

  stiff: very hard, strong, a wrestler who delivers unnecessarily strong blows is said to ‘work stiff’ and it is possible to stiff someone by hitting them harder than they expected

  squared circle: announcer slang for a wrestling ring

  suplex: classic grecco-roman wrestling vernacular for tossing opponent while maintaining a controlling grip, variants include the Standing Vertical, German, T-Bone, and Belly-to-Back

  tamarindo: the podlike fruits of the tamarind tree

  tap out: to indicate that one has had enough, or “say uncle,” from the way a wrester will tap the mat to show they have surrendered to a submission hold

  técnico/a: (tek’-nee-ko, tek’-nee-ka) a good guy/gir
l, a hero, a someone who wrestles scientifically and obeys the rules

  teporocho: (te-po-ro’-cho) a drunk

  tigrebako: (tee-gre-bah’-ko) the drunktank, the cell where cops put teporochos and people picked up as drunk and disorderly — from Japanese slang “torabako” meaning “tigerbox” and Spanish “tigre” meaning tiger.